by now it makes sense to assume
that you've been stood up again
at shooters on a wednesday night
the BEER sign lighting your tragedies

it makes sense to assume that no one else
has ever been stood up at shooters on a wednesday
and also that every one else is at home
acting out loving wizard role play in their bedrooms

and you are the loneliest. there is evidence.
look at all the wizard couples in olive garden, for example
it makes sense to assume that everything you've imagined
is an empty balloon

with no note tied to it, no messages from another world
and no phone ringing when you get home
and you are out of cigarettes and the couple next door
is casting love spells on each other and playing with the cat

you are gently spinning on one thread
taped to the moon and holding you just above the ground
by now it makes sense to assume that no one will notice your graceful arc
and that the moon is shining but no one is looking


maybe something will happen like
a ceiling fan
will fall from the ceiling!
and you'll turn to the guy next to you
and say something like
and he'll say yeah, i know.
and you'll feel like a cat that has run into a fire hydrant
on accident

something else could happen too like
there could be a fire in your building!
and while you're huddled with your neighbors outside
watching your building burn to the ground
you could turn to your neighbor and say
wow that was a close one
and he'll take off his sunglasses
and look you in the eyes
for the first time ever

but the worse thing that could happen is
you could be stuck behind a couple making out
on an airplane.
and you'll feel like a load of laundry
that gets washed but still smells weird
and you'll feel like the moon shining bright
but no one is looking
and you'll feel like an incredibly beautiful woman
at the bottom of the ocean


my favorite thing that i saw on the internet today

i think my friend darah might be my favorite photographer. this is her daughter guthrie, who is my favorite guthrie.


name this artist

this is a hilarious installation i saw at the MCA yesterday. does anyone know who the artist is? i ran out of the gallery because i couldn't stop laughing and felt dumb.

also, she was saying "i know what you're thinking, i know what you're thinking," in a menacing tone. it is so funny. for some reason though, the other people in the gallery weren't laughing at this awesome joke.

and in other news, the "new chicago comics" exhibit was really good. i'm excited for anders nilsen's full compilation of "Big Questions"--coming out from Drawn and Quarterly this spring.


poetic review of 'keeping up with the kardashians' season 5

This show is so good. its keeps me entertained and always up to date with the stuff they were and do. if i were to have a life like that i were to do everything they were doing i loved it and if any upcoming episodes or seasons i will watch and rate and in this season i can honestly say that this is one of the best shows i have ever seen in my whole life and and i am just saying that i think you guys will love it to it is very cool styelish and optamistic all of you guys should watch it

12 out of 16 netflix members found this review helpful.


potential light catastrophe

uhhh accidentally left my lightbox on for an hour and a half. what do you think will happen to me?

a. glowing orb of light for a head
b. give birth to the sun's baby
c. nothing, because lightboxes don't do anything


"hey mom...guess who's going to JAIL"

feeling hateful / tired / all i want to do is watch keeping up with the kardashians on netflix instant play. i'm on season 3 now. i just saw the episode where khloe goes to jail but then doesn't go to jail.