11.25.2007

Interview with a Hot Air Balloonist

Hot Air Balloonist Magazine: Are you a hot air balloonist?

Hot Air Balloonist: Yes.

HABM: Why did you become a hot air balloonist?

HAB: Someone stole my bicycle.

HABM: Has anyone ever stolen your hot air balloon?

HAB: No.

HABM: What is the best part about the job?

HAB: Going up. The small flame. The thinning air.

HABM: What is the most challenging part about the job?

HAB: Getting down.

HABM: How do you manage to get down?

HAB: I find heavy things in the sky. On a clear day it can be difficult. The passengers are not much help. Once we get to the tree line it’s easier. Branches are heavy.

HABM: Do the passengers enjoy the ride?

HAB: They feel happy before we go up and after we come down. While we’re in the air they think about other things. One lady got upset when she had to throw her handbag and shoes over the side. They were weighing us down. Sometimes they try to take home a bit of cloud as a souvenir. They get frustrated when they can’t. They are generally unhappy people.

HABM: How long have you been a hot air balloonist?

HAB: A man tied thousands of helium balloons to a lawn chair and floated around his neighborhood. He hovered over his dog and waved at his dog.

HABM: Are you going up right now?

HAB: Yes.

HABM: Do you think hot air ballooning is still a viable form of travel?

HAB: It doesn’t...moment...giraffe knees...

HABM: I can’t hear you anymore. Can you hear me?

HAB:..........

HABM: Do you have any words of advice for young aspiring hot air balloonists?

HAB:...........

6 comments:

Sarah said...

HAB, what what! I love everything you do, but have a special place in my heart for the hot air balloonist. I never did show you the page in which the babysitter babysits for her.

BLAKE BUTLER said...

yess

Megan said...

i just reread your elimae. lover-ly!

Zachary German said...

this is a good thing

Prathna Lor said...

i want to have sex with a hot air balloonist whilst in a hot hair balloon.

Lara said...

Great work.